Ready For Take-Off!

So, here it goes... Couldn't sleep at all last night, not so much because of the weigh-in as for the fact that A is leaving again today. He lives and works in Kalmar and will move up to Stockholm for good in 3 weeks, but time seems to be dragging by until then. It is really strange, because when he is here or I am in Kalmar - time rushes by... How come? Very strange and very irritating!

Anyways... This is the really hard part about this, because I feel really ashamed over letting it get this far... But on the other hand, the people I love and care about hopefully won't up and leave even if my weight should come as some sort of surprise for them... And maybe it's good that I feel that way, maybe that will push me towards a change and maybe, just maybe, I'll feel all the more proud of my achievements this way?... So, I feel really vulnerable here and I'll just close my eyes and throw myself over the ledge, not caring what the consequences may be...

Starting weight: 103 kgs (227,08 lbs)

Chest: 110 cm (43,3 in)
Waist: 97 cm (38,1 in)
"Tummy": 113 cm (44,4 in)
Butt: 121 cm (47,6 in)
Thigh: 75 cm (29,5 in)
Calf: 44 cm (17,3 in)
Overarms: 39 cm (15,3 in)
Underarms: 30 cm (11,8 in)

"Weight-goal": 72-76 kg (158,7 - 167,5 lbs)

My dream is to find the body I had in 2002, when I worked in the UK. I've accepted the fact that I will never be skinny, but maybe I can be that fit again? It's gonna take A LOT of hard work, but I really want it so much. I also know myself pretty well by this time and I know that I need rewards for good results... Usually a reward would be good food or something like that, but here's the new system: for every kilo (2,2 lbs) I loose, I get to buy a book. This will work very well as I LOVE books! For every kilo I gain, I have to buy Anders a book that he wants... =) I'll get back to you on other rewards and goals later, have to get my pulse back to normal again after revealing all of this... =)
There it is, probably THE scariest thing I've ever done! But it feels kind of good as well, I'll survive this humiliation and come out stronger, better and hotter than ever on the other side! See you there!!!