Frustrated!!!

I'm so sick of not getting anywhere, especially since the only one to blame is myself!!! Gaaah!!!

I've finally gotten the right shoes in the right size and today I got a runner's set from Craft:

Very nice, and even nicer: the Large was too big so I got to buy a Medium! =)

Very strange, feels like I'm not wearing anything, but nice to run in!

Then we got home and I had decided I was done with the stupid intervals and ready for the entire kilometer... I was wrong... After 700 meters I got side stitch, that passed quickly, but still... Not a good feeling. Ended with good, strong legs and the timer stopped at 7:03 mins. It's a decent time for me, not the best I've done, but considering how poor my training has been of late, it's okay. 

I'm very happy about the shoes!!! My Nike Lunarglide +3 really did their job, for the first time my tibias didn't hurt on impact! A lovely feeling! But I know that I need to get better at warming up, stretching and taking care after training as well--today I just go out, walk 5 mins and start, then when I'm done I go inside and hit the shower... 

But now I realize that Anders has been right all along, I can't hurry this or force results. I need to give myself a better chance! I need to put my heart into planning AND following through, building a good habit and lifestyle with the help of people around me who know this better than I do. Making a perfect schedule for a horse or a dog -- no problems! But when it comes to myself, I'm totally clueless! And I need to let go of the pride in this case and benefit from their knowledge. I'm so glad that I have my colleague and friend Thomas to turn to! He runs like a madman, all the time, everywhere, for hours on end! A true inspiration and such a great mentor, never making me feel stupid or ignorant. Thanx!!!

I'm working on a plan and I'll give it to you tomorrow.

We went shopping for a calendar for our wedding, had to settle for a blank one and note dates myself, it's very beautiful though! I also got a training calendar and I hope it's gonna help me follow through better...

Today we planned a good long walk with the dogs, but the pouring rain stopped us and we ended up training instead. So much fun! I forget that sometimes and I coached Anders with both Yoggi & Harry. That is really my place in life, I was born to teach. I feel at ease and sometimes I'm worried about not finding the words when I stand in front of my pupils, but they never fail me! I wish it was easier making it a living, as I did with the horses. I long back to that, what an amazing job! I'm fortunate to have had it.

This evening we've enjoyed lobster, crab and a bottle of white wine in front of Sweden-Italy in hockey, lovely evening!

Second Time Around...

I just thought of something: I'm all about second chances and I don't want anyone to accuse me of jumping the gun or using big, fancy words without thinking things through. So, my boycott of Gina Tricot--is it really fair? Well, considering that it's only roughly just 6 months since they last used crazily deformed mannequins and were questioned about their views on female beauty--I think it's fair to say that they got their chance...

Here's the picture from 2011 and here and here are the articles to go with it from Aftonbladet & GP!

The answers given by people representing Gina Tricot has this far been far, far from satisfying! Join me in a silent protest--buy your clothes elsewhere (and remember--Lindex is no better...) and support a healthier view on beauty!

I Hope We Will Follow...

No, the urge to go out on an evening jog/walk disappeared somewhere between work and the apartment and was replaced by nausea and freezing... Much nicer, don't you think? Well, as long as I go out tomorrow and on Saturday, I haven't messed up my schedule and that's what's important. So instead we'll make tea and watch an episode of The X-Files, then making it an early night I think.

In today's Metro (Swedish edition) there is a great column by Hillevi Wahl, following the debacle about the emaciated mannequin at Gina Tricot, and you can read it here!
I was so glad to read that Israel will lead the way to a healthier and brighter future for all of us, no matter what we may look like, by being the first country in the world to ban the usage of models with a BMI below 18,5. The ban means that magazines aren't allowed to use models that skinny and neither are they welcome on the runway, of course this has caused an uproar amongst the models themselves! They claim that many of them are that skinny by nature and can't help it and though it may very well be so and there's nothing wrong with that--only 5 % of the population belong to that group and Israel have chosen to legislate for the greater part of their population in this case.
This is one step, and as small as it may be, it gives me hope. Hope that we can start to make something good, to turn a bad trend around and open up for new possibilities. I hope we'll find ourselves in a world where the majority of women (and men of course) can feel good about themselves, a world were fashion-designers make clothes that actually fit normal people and a more forgiving and accepting world.
As Hillevi says--we are often praised for our beautiful women in Sweden and I agree fully, I just wish that they all could see it themselves.

It is often said that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, and though that may be true--it would be much better if it didn't. If we all were able to feel beautiful regardless of what others think or say, maybe a foolish hope? But a fool's hope is still better than no hope at all, don't you think?

It Hurts To See...

This mannequin was displayed in the window of Gina Tricot's store at Sergelgatan in Stockholm

It makes me furious and so freaking sad that this is what young girls have to see when shopping for clothes on a daily basis!!! I mean--the ribs??? Give me a show of hands all of you who think this looks seriously good! No wonder so many of us feel bad about our weight or looks! I might be just a wee bit biased (or some might think: jealous...), but this is wrong. All the guys I've talked to say they think it looks disgusting, but it might still affect young girls negatively and the CEO says it's supposed to be a size 36 EU/6 US. Why does it always have to be a size 6? What's wrong with size 8 or 10? When will we accept the fact that we all look different and be "allowed" to feel good about ourselves just the way we are? I'm trying to loose weight due to health-issues and because I want to, not because I want to look like a skeleton mannequin... Not that I ever could, my bone-structure won't allow it!

I know several women who have suffered from eating disorders and though I strongly feel that we all are responsible for taking care of ourselves and our bodies--this is not the way to teach us that we are perfect just the way we are. And I do believe that we aren't more than humans and we do get affected by what we see, what we read, what we hear. I for one hate shopping! I was never a huge fan of it, but since my weight-gain 5 years back--it's gone from a lack of interest to some small kind of phobia for me. I know that the clothes I think look great won't fit, they never make them in my size. Let's not even get started on jeans. I love jeans, but Levi's and Diesel have never made jeans for girls with lots of jelly... =) Just saying'. Kim Kardashian has not changed that fact and maybe she and J.Lo can get their jeans custom-fit, but most of us can't and therefore we have to settle for old ladies "jeans" at KappAhl... Not a lot of fun I can tell you... 

A few years back, Lindex (read an article here) launched a collection of clothes called "Affordable Luxury" by designer Ewa Larsson--this collection was only made in sizes Small and Medium with the explanation that for larger sizes they would have had to make totally different clothes!!! Since then, I have never sat my foot in a Lindex store. My silent protest which will now expand to Gina Tricot. I think it's so tragic, I'm lacking words for how I feel, but for the 13-year old me who cried herself to sleep after days of mockery at school--I have to do something!

I dream of creating my own collection of clothes one day, one where all sizes are available, where the right to look fantastic isn't limited to a number. I've already thought up a name for it: Wicked Beauty by Wallin Bååth, how's that for a name?!? 

One Foot in Front of the Other...

That's how it feels right now! I can't believe that only a few months ago I ran 3 kilometers without much difficulty, now I have to really strain myself to make 1 kilometer!!! Feels like my legs are made of jelly, my throat is burning and there's just no energy in my body!!! I don't know why! I've quit smoking since I ran those 3 kilometers, I thought that would do me good--but obviously not! =(
I know I have to give it a few weeks, but still...
I need to buy new pants to run in and I'd really need new shoes as well... It'll have to wait until next payday though... =)

Nike Wmns Free 3.0 perhaps?

Or maybe Nike Wmns Lunarglide + ?

I'll definitely run better in these PP W Johtu Tights!

This week-end we're going down to Norrköping for a few days with friends and family! Can't wait until Anders gets off work and we can go south! I love it here in Stockholm, I really do, but Norrköping still feels a little more like home... Most of my loved ones are there, that might help...