My Dad was born 77 years ago today, somewhere between a rock and a hard place in the deepest forests of our country. They were 4 siblings, but his elder sister died in a tragic accident when she was 18 years old. I don't know much about my grandfather, he died from colon-cancer long before I was born, I'm not even sure if any one of my elder brothers ever met him. I've seen pictures and since Dad doesn't seem to want to talk about him that much, I've stopped asking. What I do know is that he hit Dad and his siblings, as was almost custom back then. Dad has told me how grandpa made them go and get the twigs he'd hit them with themselves... Awfully cruel and it is impossible to understand that Dad ever suffered such cruelty when you meet him--I have met few kinder people in my days. Rough, yes no doubt, but the kindest man there ever was. Maybe being beaten as a child can do two things to you: either you do exactly the same thing to others as was done onto you, or the opposite: you'd never want any one to suffer as you have done and thus you might even overcompensate?... For my Dad has never, not once, even raised his voice at me. He is amazingly sweet with children and all animals.
I've only seen him cry twice in my life: when I got my driver's license (he was there with me) and of course when we had to put down our first borderterrier Batman.
His life has not been easy, but he has never complained, the viking that he is. He has told me that he dreamt of becoming a surgeon as a child, and this always brings a smile to my face. Not that he wouldn't have been great at it, I have no doubt about that, but when you see his hands today... They're HUGE! After years and years of hard work, they're calloused and scarred and it is indeed impossible to imagine them in an OR... Therefor he has always told me how important it is to have a good education and he has inspired me to do good in school. He is very upset that my biggest dream is to join the police-force though, he's not such a big fan of them... =)
We have always been close, as I've told you before, I trailed him like a puppy when I was a kid and though he has been away working a lot and for long periods of time--that bond never broke. But it became even stronger during the upsetting events that took place in the winter of 2009/2010. First Granny's illness and then Dad's cancer, I could hardly stand straight when he told me what they'd found. Cancer... How can 6 letters contain so much pain and fear? They're just letters, still I know they make people all around the world shiver with fear and grief. I was lucky. We were lucky, Dad and I, he made it out alive, but alone. Mum left him after 30 years in the middle of the worst battle of his life. He can't forgive and neither can I. Because I was there, I saw what it did to him, how it broke him down. My Dad is far from flawless, but he has sacrificed everything to give me and Mum a good life, to make it possible for us to have our horses and it has cost him a lot.
I think a small piece of him died then, he has not really been the same ever since. Mum is out of both our lives since two years back, she remarried only 4 months after leaving Dad and try as I might--I cannot understand how she could do that to him.
Today we're closer than ever, Dad and I. We live only two blocks away from each other and we talk on the phone everyday. I'm glad he and Anders seem to like each other a lot, they talk as if I wasn't there sometimes, but I don't mind.
All I wish for right now, is a happy ending for my Dad. Not like in dying peacefully, I will keep him with us for many years ahead, but in him having something to take joy and pride in again. I wish for a small farm where he can live in his own little house and help out with whatever he wants to do, or just putter around and feel good. I also hope that we'll be able to go to Australia, for that has always been his dream. It's expensive, but I'll do anything to make it happen.
So, Happy Birthday Dad, I love you so much.
Dad's debute in the show-ring!
