I've always been daddy's girl. He had 4 sons before me and I think he has sometimes wished that I would have been a boy as well. I've been as close to a boy as a girl can be, following him around like a faithful puppy: building things, fixing cars and tractors, getting my hands dirty in whatever he was doing.
He has always been my big idol, I've closed my eyes to all his faults my entire life and I love him beyond comparison. He's difficult to love, at least to tell him that you love him seems impossible!
In late 2009 he started loosing weight and had trouble eating due to abdominal pain. But my father is Rambo himself and never complains, never goes to the doctor, never stops working. It all culminated during the Christmas holidays that year and the day before New Years Eve I forced him to the hospital. The doctor didn't give us any straight answers, but dad was admitted and had to have x-rays done the next day. He had to stay the night and the day after he called us to come pick him up. I heard over the phone that something was wrong, very wrong. I asked him and he said the doctor had talked about "changes in his colon" and we hung up. I looked at mum and asked: "Changes? That's cancer, right?" She just nodded and my world fell apart.
Dad came home with us and had surgery a few weeks later and after that a long and difficult chemotherapy. It was so hard, seeing him weak and ill, poor dad.
So, this cold, his heavy breathing and general weakness--it brings me right back to those days. But I hope that we get away with a bad cold this time... Keep us in your thoughts until I get back...
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