It's Gonna Be a Wet Wedding...

It's hopeless! I'm gonna have to a have a totally silent wedding and I won't be able to wear any makeup... Just watched and episode of Grey's Anatomy where a couple get married and I cried so much I think the couch needs to hang out to dry...
So, is there such a ceremony? Where no one speaks, where I don't have to say anything and no one notices that I'm not wearing any makeup? I've never heard of it, but maybe someone out there has?

See, I cry. I cry to the Lionking, to Notting Hill, to Animal Planet. I cry when I'm fantastically happy, like when Anders proposed. I cry when I'm hysterically sad, like when Granny died. I cry when I'm angry, like when bad things happen to good people. I cry -- full stop. And you can think that makes me a weak person or whatever, I think the opposite. I think I'm a better person for feeling, I think it makes me try harder and stand stronger, but that's just what I think.

I grew up with two emotionally crippled parents and I don't wanna be like that when my time comes. I will NEVER use silent treatment or cut my children off, letting them think I don't care anymore. Refusing to cry in front of them, refusing to show emotions and letting them think that maybe that's the way it should be. Like I did.

So, a quiet wedding, without makeup, that's my plan... Who's with me? No one?... Hmmm...

Maybe not all tears are bad or a sign of weakness?

And the Days Go By...

Time has no mercy, it just moves on, oblivious to what people think about it at all. The strange thing is that my days off from work seem to rush by in a hurry, while some days at work seem to more or less drag themselves by... Very strange!
I've got time off from work until next Thursday, very nice! Though things could have ended sadly yesterday: one of the dogs got to some left-over chicken that he shouldn't have... 10 years ago, I lost my first dog to this, thanks to our cat, who opened the garbage-cupboard and pulled the trash out onto the kitchen-floor and then the dog ate it. We had to put him down because of his internal injuries, so I'm totally hysterical when it comes to dogs and chicken-bones. Raw bones are okay, but once they've been prepared somehow, they are lethal to dogs. So, I went hysterical, cried and screamed and couldn't move, called poor Anders at work and somehow managed to get the message through, so he left work to come home. Called the vet in tears and they finally calmed me down, told me to but asparagus and feed him and wait 24 hours. So, I bought the freaking vegetables and since I didn't know if Yoggi had eaten also--he got some as well. He's not the problem though, he chews (read: gulfs anything) down and so he did with the asparagus. Harry on the other hand, he's more of a cat kind of dog: he hardly eats anything unless it's ham or meatballs or such stuff. So, asparagus--big NO NO according to Harry. Force-feeding a dog with wet, slimy asparagus: not my idea of a nice Wednesday... What he did like though was the margarine that I had bought as well. Since almost all fatty foods are good for binding stuff up in the stomach, I gave him some of that between our fights... Poor Harry, he can't really trust me very much after this. But they both seem fine, a little weak, but they'll make a full recovery and that's all I care about. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to eat grilled chicken again though. If I do, I'll take out the trash before I sit down to eat!

Tomorrow we're going home to Norrköping and Anders' family, to celebrate our engagement and also it's his sister's birthday. We're planning on visiting "our" church as well -- very excited about that!

I'll be back with pictures of it...

It's the Small Things...

...that can really make or break you. Today I'm on a high! Partly because I've gotten a good night's sleep and partly because I've been out on my first jog/walk in over a week, partly because I love my new shower-gel and lotion from Body Shop (Pink Grapefruit) and partly thanks to Mark Salling (Noah Puckerman in Glee)... So, nothing extraordinary, just everyday life and it's moments.

I smell FANTASTIC! =)

Yum!

Mark Salling is H O T and I love his voice and mohican!

Nobody's Gonna Rain on My Parade...

...or in this case: wedding... I realized I knew the perfect song to go with yesterday's piece so here she is once again, the one and only: Lea Michele!

The Fast and The...?

So, I knew it beforehand really, but still it bothers me a bit. That some people can't be really, truly happy for others and though I know it's their loss --it still bothers me. And what bugs me the most is that I get so affected by it, that I start to think that maybe some of the ones that don't say that stuff out loud--they think it to!
"Wow, that's fast!"
 Yes, I know it is, but I also know that it's right. Anders is the One, he couldn't possibly be more right! He's the Fred Astaire to my Ginger Rogers , he's the Rhett Butler to my Scarlet O'Hara, he's the Tarzan to my Jane and we finish each other's sentences, we move in the same flow and with him I feel complete and ready to take on the world. What more do I need to know? So what we've only known each other for a little more than 6 months? We could be together for 20 years, get married and still end up miserable. I don't believe time is an issue, at least not in this case. But I still feel a slight sting when I realize that people think we're moving to fast, especially when it comes from someone close...
Well, if anything -- we'll prove them wrong! Our love will prove them wrong in the end and that's all that matters. I believe in us and I don't need anybody's approval this time.

I'm getting married in 13 months and I intend to enjoy every single step towards my wedding, to really throw myself head-first in to all the tiny details, change my mind -- just to change it back again some days later. Try too many kinds of wedding-cakes, try on too many wedding-dresses, think and re-think the color of the flower-arrangements, glue myself to the first draft of invitations, make my first scrap-book about planning this wonderful event, make mistakes and get upset, probably a thousand times over.

Because I'm only doing this once. Because that's what forever means.

Anybody got a problem with that?...

My Slightly Delusional Heroes!

I'm sick. Again. So sick of being sick! It's like the forth time in three months... I should've never stopped smoking!
Well, the upside is that I can allow myself to spend lots and lots of time in front of the TV and yesterday I finished season 4 of Grey's Anatomy, one of my favourite-series. So, this morning (erhm, around lunch...) when I woke up--I drove to the store and bought the 5:th season and I'm watching episode 4 right now. I've loved the story and the characters from the start, which is quite funny since I'm terribly afraid of hospitals myself. But I'm mesmerized by their skill, their perfect knowledge in the OR and how totally messed up their private lives are, just like for us mortal people! Sometimes I recognize things so badly, sometimes I cry because of an emotionally tough case, sometimes I laugh my heart out thanks to something George says -- somehow I'm always influenced one way or the other. Also, one of the most beautiful, non skeletal, women in the business is in: Sara Ramirez as Dr. Callie Torrez:

Isn't she beautiful?

Who is YOUR favorite at Seattle Grace?

Because That's What Forever Means.

Wow, it's been a few intense couple of days! Sorry I haven't updated you...

I knew London was magical and I was proved right on Sunday evening, walking through Kensington Gardens on our way to dinner! Anders led me in on a more secluded path and then he dropped down on  one knee and presented a beautiful ring with a magical question! When I regained normal breathing I think I got "I do" out and after some serious re-makeup we got a very good picture to remember it by! But I'm not worried that this memory ever will fade even the slightest, it was the most wonderful moment in my life!

I love you! 

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