An Ordinary Tuesday, But Special Anyway...

This is starting to sink in slowly: he is here. For good, I don't have to worry about him or me leaving every Sunday as we have been the last 4 months. Luckily he also arrived on one of my easy weeks, only work Wednesday and Thursday this week. So here we are, parked in the sofa, playing Zelda Skyward Sword on the Wii and drinking a new sort of tea: a white tea with pomegranate! Never seen it before, but we both like it very much!

Link and his birdie! Addictive!

A very "polite" taste, I would say...

On Thursday we're going to Hovet to watch Djurgården take on HV71, hopefully another victory for us... =) I'm a little uncertain though, the head-coach and his assistant left their positions yesterday and I'm not so sure the new guys are up to the task yet... 

On Friday we're FINALLY going to the movies!!! Anders and I haven't even been to the movies together yet! This is really strange since I love going for lots of reasons! Especially the popcorns, best there are! We're bringing dad as well and we're going to watch Hamilton - In the Interest of the Nation with my absolute favorite man all categories: Mikael Persbrandt!

Eye-candy! ; )

Next week I will get going on the new work-out schedule Johan made me! Bit nervous, but I need to get on with it ASAP! 

Until then, I'll just cuddle up next to the best man I know and watch a few more episodes of my favorite series: Sons of Anarchy!

Sweet Sunday Morning...

I can never seem to sleep late anymore! It bugs me, I used to love sleeping until noon on my days off, now I wake up as soon as the faintest daylight slips in behind the curtains!
Had a very good day at work yesterday, considering the long hours I'm lucky to have such amazing colleagues! They are hilarious and since there are only four of us during the week-ends, we get pretty tight. Anders came and met me at the end of the day and we rented a movie on the way home, made some pizza and ate in from of The Rise of the Planet of the Apes. I love that movie! I think it gives you (well, me at least) the same feeling as I Am Legend. Both of them really made me think about how we treat, or rather: mistreat, the world around us like there's no tomorrow. But then again, I am extremely sensitive and can cry to almost any movie, especially one with animals in it! =) I mean: don't even get me started on The Lion King or Bolt... =)

Now I'm up reading the newspaper, having what feels like my 200:th cup of tea this week and Anders is probably sound asleep, as are the dogs... Reading an article about Deep Springs College, some sort of elitist school in the desert between Nevada and California, evidently they have just accepted their first Swedish student...
Around noon we're heading down to Kalmar, to clear out Anders' apartment and bring all of his stuff here. So tomorrow it's for real: he's here for good. Amazing feeling!

How Could Dianna Agron/Lea Michele Ever Feel Unpretty?!?

I keep watching Glee all day long and today I saw the episode where Rachel considers a nose-job and she sings a mash-up of I Feel Pretty/Unpretty with Quinn. Love it!

I Feel Pretty/Unpretty Glee Mash-Up

Winter's Chill...

Since a few years back I've started taking better care of my skin, since we, unlike some lucky reptiles, can't switch our's at need or will. That would be really convenient though! Maybe just a little scary... Anyways, this includes having facials like every 8 weeks or so, a luxury everyone should treat themselves to every once in a while, and also investing in some really good products!
The first dermatologist I went to used Dermalogica and I really love their products! First of all, they're NOT tested on animals, which is great, and secondly, they work like a charm! They don't smell very good, almost like clay or dust, but they are very good, so...

Cleansing Solution

An amazing exfoliant! LOVE IT!

Skin smoothing cream

When I moved to Norrköping, I started going to Ida at House of Beauty, she's amazing and the products: WOW!!! She uses Ole Henriksen's products and they are FANTASTIC! Most of them smell like candy and you don't have to use very much each time, so they last very long, which is good since they're quite expensive... Worth every penny though!!!

Smells like candy, LOVE IT!!!

Smells like oranges and limes, WONDERFUL!!!

Though I have to warn you: do NOT buy the skin creme from the On The Go-series!!! It smells awful!!! Only to be used as a repellant of some kind... =)

YUECK!!!

Love the skin you're in and treat yourself to small luxuries! 

Butterflies...

Wow... Suddenly I realize: this is the last night I get the bed all to myself! Because tomorrow he comes home. For good. I've waited for like what feels like forever, though we've only been together for four months, and soon he'll be here. I won't miss travelling back and forth, but it still feels a little weird. This has just come to feel like home to me and now things will change, there will be one more person around here. I can no longer do as I wish when I get home after 12 hours of work and don't wanna give a rat's tiny ass about anything. I'll have to socialize and adjust... Scary thought! But then, I am an only child and not used to consider such things. But it'll be fine, I really want him here, no doubt about that! I've missed him terribly much and to think we went two weeks without seeing each other in December is crazy. But still, there are butterflies. For I am not easy to live with, just ask anyone of the two brave men who have tried before... This time I'll go the extra mile, I'll make the effort and I will get it right.

Because he is IT.

Posture on Both the Inside and Outside...

After today's great result weight-wise, I had to run some errands and decided to slap on some make-up and wear high-heels just to keep the good feeling. I need that from time to time, at work I'm always au naturel and in my uniform and at home I mostly wear sweats, hard to feel even slightly cute either way... So, make-up on, high-heels check and with a straight back and a good swagger I hit the mall. Turned quite a few heads, which only made me feel even better. But it also got me thinking about how much we can control how other people see us. I mean, if I can turn heads, then anyone can!!! Though I am well aware that the feeling has to come from inside you, confidence that comes from within makes you shine on the outside as well. And then there's posture. Very important! A straight back and a head held high works wonders with anyone's looks.
I saw a girl at the mall who tried to make herself almost invisible and I get so sad when I see that. But I know where it comes from, I've been there. I'm still there a lot of the time, because my good feeling is so easily taken away by one single snide comment or a disapproving look. And the fall from that is so much worse than if I hadn't felt good about myself first. I don't know what gives people the right to judge others by appearance alone and I've been a victim of it all my life, since I was 6 years old. I do sincerely hope that it fills a purpose for the one saying or doing all those mean things, because the scars run so deep. They never heal, no matter how far you get from it or what you may achieve on your way--they still echo in the back of your mind from time to time. I guess my hope is that by being this open with my weight and looks and such, I can help but a little. It's all I ask... To create just a little awareness in the minds of my wonderful readers. I know some of you have kids, and really that's where we have to start with everything. To make them understand the importance of being nice to others, even though you might not like them or you think that they look awful. Words hurt, and unlike some other scars, they don't show but that doesn't make them any less painful. It's not that I don't believe in honesty, but somethings better remain unsaid than spoken out loud...
I feel I will soon have to tell you my entire story as it is, but not today, I don't have the time to be that emotional... =) So, I will instead give you the before and after shots from last weeks hockey-night:

Before...

After!

Second Weigh-In

Oups, I've forgotten to publish this weeks weigh-in, two days late, but I'll do it anyways...

Weight: 101,1 kilos (222,89 lbs)
Result week 2: -1,6 kilos (3,52 lbs)

SOOOO freaking happy! But I guess next week will show a stand-still since there are only 4 days to go and I'm gonna work 2 of them...
Still really, really proud though!

You Loose Some, You Win Some..

Hmm, that good start came to a screeching halt... This is what I do though, I've always quit as soon as things don't go my way instantly. But not this time, I'm just gonna shake it off and get going and back on that damned track again! If only I could kick myself in the behind...

But, here I am, reloading belief and confidence in myself seeing this through and there is only one way to do that: Glee-marathon!!! I absolutely LOVE Glee and have since the first episode, I love everything about it. The actors are so insanely talented and amazing! I always feel so much better under the influence of Lea Michele, Diana Argon, Cory Monteith, Mark Sailing and the others. The cast is truly amazing and all the characters are spectacular. I also love the fact that they remind me so much of high-school, of how disoriented one feels at 16, how out of tune with life around you: boys, clothes, make-up, the works. I love the episode where Kurt's father marries Finn's mother and if I ever get married: that's the kind of wedding I want! I'm both surprised and happy that they went all in on the relationship between Kurt and Blaine, wonderful! Never thought they'd get to air that in the States. Love that Merecedez and Lauren get to play such big parts even though they're far from skinny and perfect, hopefully it makes some girl's life a little easier. Because school was never much fun for girls like us, girls with a litte ( or a lot) of extra stuffing...
Long story short: I want to live IN Glee. But, no such luck...

This last week I have had a lot of time to think, mostly thoughts concerning the future. I'm pushing 30 and still don't know what I want in life. And I see all my friends get their lives together, start families, get the job they want, get good educations and stuff like that. I haven't done much since 2002 when I left England, which I still regret.
But the last week I've really given it a lot of thought and I think I've finally realized what I want to do. It's not a very realistic idea or dream, whatever you will call it, but here it is: my dream is to be a sports journalist. I've always loved writing and think myself fairly good at it... And I absolutely LOVE sports. Or rather athletes, though not in a "my, he's hot" kind of way. I love the passion in them, the knowledge and professionalism that only truly great sportsmen/women possess. The reason I've realized this is hours spent on front of the telly watching Sweden play handball in the European Masters, not very good, but still. There is this player, Kim Andersson, who is truly amazing! He's a great player technically, but also because he's got such passion for what he does! He gets really pissed when he misses a shot, or when the others make mistakes and he often ends up on the bench due to his temperament, but isn't that the greatest proof of real passion when it comes to sports? That nothing matters more than what you perform? That you're only as good as your last period, last game, last set, last race? I at least think that's what it's all about. The drive. The urge. The will. When you breathe the game, when it runs in your veins. When there isn't any way you could function without it. I love it and I think it should be celebrated. I think it's sad that most of what journalists (both on TV and in the papers) want to talk/write about is failure. The gory details. To punch in as many negative words about the results/games etc as possible. That they seem to love the sport, but not the people creating it. Everyone's a champion on the sideline, in the stands, behind the microphone, on the sports pages in the papers. Many of them haven't spent a day living that sport, but they still see it fit to throw accusations around.
I don't want to do that, I want to be the counter-weight to all that negativity and bring out the pride, the glory, the sweat and tears, hours of training, the passion and the fighting that makes these athletes who they are. And yes, Kim alone made me realize all this. My inspiration to find my dream. Wish I could thank him for it, because it feels really, really good. Even though I realize that I probably never will make it even half-way there...
But what are we without our dreams? Mere humans, perhaps content, but never more than that.

I want to be more. I need to believe that I can be more. I need my dream.

Upset!

What a stupid day! Was up waaaay too late last night (went to bed 4:30...) and got up around lunch-time.

I've had some problems with my bank since I moved to Stockholm and lately I've gotten really fed up with them and decided to switch to another bank, but there is a lot to go through before that and today I started looking at my car insurance, which is quite expensive. I pay somewhere around 11 000 SEK (£1032/$1645) per year for my insurance and I land at a monthly fee around 1200 SEK. Today I checked another insurance company, Volvia, since I have a Volvo... There I would pay 5 900:- SEK(£553/$882) per year instead!!! Some difference! Almost half the price! I thought that I must have gotten it wrong, so I called Volvia up and asked one of their salesmen and he had the cutest answer:
-Don't take this the wrong way: but you're not that young anymore! When it comes to insurances I mean, nothing else! If you had been 18 I would understand why they'd charge you that much, but not now...
So I called my bank/insurance company up and asked them why there was such a huge difference... They couldn't answer that they said... Good one! I got a little (...) angry and all of a sudden they would look into it ASAP... Someone would call me back with new numbers in 48 hours. I'm still mad as hell! And I don't like having to get angry to get right! It sucks!
The really stupid thing is that I don't get to switch until October anyways, because you can only change your insurance once a year and I signed mine last October...
I've been so angry, I've just gone around shaking all day! Not very nice a feeling, but it's all their fault. Hoping for some really good news tomorrow...

First Weigh-In!

I've been soooo nervous for today, first weigh-in and on a not so good week for me. I work as a telephone-operator at an alarm-central, which means that I pretty much sit or stand in the same spot for 12 hours/day. We have a good week and a less good week... The good week we work Wednesday and Thursday and the less good week we work the other five days and this has been such a week, except that I was sick last Monday.
But I've done 36 hours now since Friday morning and it isn't easy being good when it comes to eating, usually this is where I just throw down whatever sweet I can find when I go shopping. I usually eat fast-food for lunch and lots and lots of chocolate to keep the sugar-levels up all day, since we don't get a break during the week-end shifts. But I've been SO good this time!!! I'm so stupidly proud over myself! I've made food at home and brought with me, no carbs, and instead of all the candy I've brought carrots and oranges and also I've had lots of tea. Good work me!
But still, it's been a week of NO exercise whatsoever and long days doing nothing but answering the phone, not great in a weight-loosing perspective...

So, this morning, the scale and me. An awkward silence and some sort of staring competition... Then I just got on it and it really felt like I had gained a lot and also it's that time of the month, so I was sure of I'd get a bad result. Looked down:

Weight: 102,7 kilos (226,41 lbs)
Result week 1: -0,3 kilos (0,66 lbs)

Not great, but considering the week I've had, I'm gonna be pleased with that and hopefully it gives me motivation to speed things up in the week ahead of me. More walking is a must!!!
Have to get back to my tea now and then go to work for a few hours extra...

If I Ever Get the Chance Again...

There, now it's done. I've cancelled my physics-test at the Police Academy next week... It hurts and I feel so useless right now, but it's not right to even try when I know I won't be able to make great results. The competition is INSANE! Last year they had about 7000 applicants fighting over 200 positions at school. And most of them are seriously fit, like crazy fit! And I'm... Well, I'm not... The test isn't at all insane: 2 kilometers in 10:15 minutes, a Harre's test and dragging a dummy at 77 kilos for 16.4 yards. Not very tough at all, but I want to achieve a great result, not just get through it. Because if I'm to go to class with these people for two years, I want to be able to do it with my head held high.
I've applied at least once a year since 2004 and this is only the second time I've been called, so it's not easy to get there. But, it's my decision and I'm happy with it, no matter what others think. We'll see who's wrong or right. Hopefully I'll get called again, next application is in February. Or else I didn't want it badly enough and since so many others do, it not fair to keep one of them from trying.

But I still feel a little sad, I was so happy when they called and asked me to come to the try-outs. Well, I believe that a few episodes of Glee can cure that! =)

Day 3 Coming to an End...

Today I've felt a lot better, left that horrid head ache in dreamland and woke up feeling like a normal person and not the Gollum I was yesterday...
So I started the day the best way I know how: tea and the morning paper (DN). I'm not much for breakfast, even though I know it's like the most important meal all day... I used to be all about big breakfasts when I was younger, I always had porridge before school or something like that. But since I've started working that has changed. I need loads of time if I'm gonna have breakfast, so I usually only have it on my days off. If I have to get going in the morning I only end up feeling sick if I've eaten, so I just don't. Tomorrow's another day off and I've got a grapefruit waiting for me, sweet! I love grapefruits!
I don't think I've ever had so much tea in my life though, and I do love it, but it's getting boring... I have to invest in more kinds of it... But I have to learn to drink water... Maybe if I put lime or something in it...

Took a long, relaxing walk with the dogs as well, realizing how badly I need to come up with an exercise-plan... I hate going to the gym, all the perfectly fit people there, just mocking me by their mere presence it seems... Some of them don't even seem to get sweaty, then what's the point??? If I've worked out--I want everyone I meet to know that!!! It's the receipt for a job well done, don't you think? So, never mind those show-offs at the gym, they can keep it to them selves. I'll get my ass in shape at home, not needing to hide from evil stares or snide comments behind my back. It doesn't even really matter that they're probably just doing it in my head--it's still just as real. I'll tell you why when I've got a little more time, but it all goes way back and as it will without a doubt get me crying, I'll wait.

Bad, Bad, Bad Idea!

This low-sugar thing has felt like the most stupid idea I've ever had, all day long! My head is aching so badly-I just want to find me an axe and chop it off, sure that it would hurt less... It feels like a million of little hammers pounding on all sides of it, from the inside that is...
Not all because of the low sugar though. The air in our office is HORRIBLE! I've never had problems with headaches before I started working there.
So the two of them combined made for a whining, bitching, sour kind of me--not very nice for my colleagues or my dear boyfriend. Who by the way has been kind enough to put up with me for 3 months today!!! A small miracle if you ask me!
And now this...
But I've been really good all day! No soda, no sweets, nothing "bad" at all! I did eat: yoghurt, some sour-milk and muesli, 4 carrots, 2 avocados, 1 orange and 1 nectarine. And my lunch of course! It was some of the left-overs since our Saturday-dinner: casseler and jasmine-rice, very good!!! When I got home I made porridge, which is one of my favorites, especially around Christmas.

Now I'm gonna hit the sack and hope to wake up with a "happier head" tomorrow...

Night y'all!

Horrible Day Coming to an End...

Yueck! What an awful day this has been, from last night until now. I've been drinking tea all day, which has been the only thing my stomach has agreed to. But since Anders came home from work and I've gotten to talk to him for a few hours, things are feeling a little bit better and I've also eaten a little more solid food, not just fluids.
But, tomorrow: work and then two days off before work again on Friday. But, much more importantly: Anders comes late Friday night!!!

Not What I Wanted...

Damn it! I got sick last night... First I couldn't sleep, which is all in order on the first night after Anders leaves. Then I started feeling queezy around 2 o'clock or so and an hour later I was bending over the toilet, called in sick from work and since then I've just lain on the bed. My stomach is still very upset with me for something, I really don't know what, but at least I could keep down a few spoonfuls of yoghurt that I ate this morning before I got some sleep. Slept until now, still feel really awkward and like... hollow or something. I hope it settles during the day so I can get back to work tomorrow and get started on this new life-regime I've thought of. But until then: tea and bed-rest... Good thing I have an amazing book to keep me company...

On An Evening Like This...

These are the hard evenings, the days when he leaves. Leaving him at the train-station, riding home alone in the car and opening the door to a totally empty apartment... I know that I'm stupid and over-sensitive, he'll be here for good in just 3 weeks... But still. It's so hard. These nights I almost have to strap myself to some piece of furniture to stop myself from going to the store for cigarettes and candy. I really need to inhale some smoke to calm the pain inside, at least that's what my poor body still believes... But so far, I've made it without.
The coming week I've got 5 workdays on 12 hours each, that also makes it a difficult week. My job has me sitting (or standing still), answering the phone and of course that doesn't really give me much of a chance to exercise and when I get bored - I tend to eat. But no more of that, right? I hope I've planned it alright, I've bought avocados, carrots and yoghurt. So hoping I get through this week!
If I'm really lucky, Anders will be able to come up over the week-end and that will be my first (and best) reward...

Ready For Take-Off!

So, here it goes... Couldn't sleep at all last night, not so much because of the weigh-in as for the fact that A is leaving again today. He lives and works in Kalmar and will move up to Stockholm for good in 3 weeks, but time seems to be dragging by until then. It is really strange, because when he is here or I am in Kalmar - time rushes by... How come? Very strange and very irritating!

Anyways... This is the really hard part about this, because I feel really ashamed over letting it get this far... But on the other hand, the people I love and care about hopefully won't up and leave even if my weight should come as some sort of surprise for them... And maybe it's good that I feel that way, maybe that will push me towards a change and maybe, just maybe, I'll feel all the more proud of my achievements this way?... So, I feel really vulnerable here and I'll just close my eyes and throw myself over the ledge, not caring what the consequences may be...

Starting weight: 103 kgs (227,08 lbs)

Chest: 110 cm (43,3 in)
Waist: 97 cm (38,1 in)
"Tummy": 113 cm (44,4 in)
Butt: 121 cm (47,6 in)
Thigh: 75 cm (29,5 in)
Calf: 44 cm (17,3 in)
Overarms: 39 cm (15,3 in)
Underarms: 30 cm (11,8 in)

"Weight-goal": 72-76 kg (158,7 - 167,5 lbs)

My dream is to find the body I had in 2002, when I worked in the UK. I've accepted the fact that I will never be skinny, but maybe I can be that fit again? It's gonna take A LOT of hard work, but I really want it so much. I also know myself pretty well by this time and I know that I need rewards for good results... Usually a reward would be good food or something like that, but here's the new system: for every kilo (2,2 lbs) I loose, I get to buy a book. This will work very well as I LOVE books! For every kilo I gain, I have to buy Anders a book that he wants... =) I'll get back to you on other rewards and goals later, have to get my pulse back to normal again after revealing all of this... =)
There it is, probably THE scariest thing I've ever done! But it feels kind of good as well, I'll survive this humiliation and come out stronger, better and hotter than ever on the other side! See you there!!!

Enough With the Baby-Steps Already!

I'm so bloody tired of this!!! Year after year promising myself to do something about my situation and then always letting myself down. I think it's because I've gone too soft on myself... A few baby-steps too many allowed, for fear of not getting any results what-so-ever, a pat on the back too much for nothing accomplished! Enough already! It hasn't gotten me anywhere but here. And as I look in the mirror - I'm still miserable. That's really all that matters... Not what others think. Not what the scale says. Not how many inches the measuring-tape tells me I've lost or gained. It's really all about how I feel about what I see in that mirror.

And, though I may be giving myself too much credit here, I think I'm finally ready to kick myself in the butt and get it done. I know I've said it before, but I think I'm finally there. Finally fed up with my sorry self and ready to avenge myself.
I thought I was ready two years ago, I did great on my new diet! I lost some weight and kept losing it as the weeks went by. Then on New Years Eve we found out that my father had colon cancer. My beloved father, the man I've always loved more than anyone and always looked up to and trailed after like a little puppy. And my granny was ill, she'd had a stroke in the fall and was hospitalized, not responding to treatment. She was my best friend, a little weird perhaps, but if you had met her it would have made perfect sense. She died on Good Friday... In the middle of all this chaos, my mum decided to leave dad after 30 years and go marry some guy she'd met in a dance-class... It wasn't unexpected, it was just too much. Horrible. The end of my life as I knew it then. And I fell. Into a life of destruction and more self-loathing. I couldn't haul myself out of the black pit I had created for myself, just barely stay alive some days. So taking care of myself packed its bags and left. And I ate. I ate to stop the tears from rushing down my cheeks, to stop the aching that pounded in my heart, to stop the thoughts from thundering in my head keeping me from sleep, I ate for whatever reason there was. I think I ate because I hated myself for being the one still alive when she was not.
I don't even care to remember how many bowls (yes, really) of chocolate-pudding with whipped cream I forced down, but at least one every evening. Candy. Crisps. Ben & Jerry's Cookie Dough ice-cream. Well, you get the picture, it wasn't exactly carrots and cauliflower that went down.
I kind of stopped moving as well. As if sadness froze me to the bed, the quiet room at school, never leaving except to go to class. I don't really know why I did that, I who believe in the healing word, in talking about things no matter how difficult they are to talk about. But I cut myself out of the picture, not letting anyone near. My poor boyfriend and all my friends, what could they do? I shut them out and turned my anger, fear, sadness, frustration, loss and pain inwards, not knowing how to ever live and love again.
But I started writing, a blog that was like a letter to Granny, a journal of the life we had had together and my feelings about loosing her and everything else. If you want you can visit it here and read more about her. It worked. It was like every word I wrote stitched me up a little on the inside and I published my blog as a book after one year of writing. But there were still issues and I was far from ready to get to working on myself again. During the summer of 2010 I started smoking again after a 2 year long break, stupid I know. But when people ask, I just laugh and say: "Considering how I felt, I'm glad I didn't fall into heavier stuff..." I had a few, meek attempts at exercise and some kind of diet, but I always lost faith in myself after a little while and as I began to smoke more and more, my lungs weren't exactly pleased with me...

A lot has changed since then. A whole new life you could say. Cliché you could say, I sometimes wonder what I did to deserve this good life that I've found. After a difficult and painful break-up, I really struggled to get to my feet again, but I did it. And sooner than I would've thought...
A lot thanks to Anders. The love of my life. A man that I marvel at every day, not understanding how I can be so lucky as to have him in my life.
Thanks to my dad. An amazing man who has stood by me through and through, battling cancer and being left during the hardest time of his life, not being able to sleep for a great deal of time. I am truly thankful to have him as my dad and we've grown even closer through this hardship.
Thanks to my friends. Some didn't have the strength to follow through, which I truly understand. But the ones that are still here, what extraordinary people! All my love and I do hope to be able to repay you one day, even though I so hope you will never have to experience pain like I did.
Thanks to my two dogs, always by my side. You may think it's stupid to put such faith in two four-legged creatures, but then you haven't met them, have you? =)

All this has led me to this day, here I stand, stronger than I have felt in many years and finally ready to deal with this life of mine. I turn 30 in August and my plan is to make good on my promise to myself until then. My gift to myself I guess you could say...
I plan to weigh in tomorrow and take my measures as well, then weigh in every Sunday and take measures once a month. I'm gonna try to keep the carbohydrates as low as possible during the weeks and allow myself one or two days a week of "looser reins". I don't believe I can quit everything all at once and I've just quit smoking - yey me!!! I'll try to stay away from sodas and candy, allowing myself other treats. As for exercise, I understand that I have to get my cute ass moving, but I have to really think through how, because I don't wanna overdo it and stop all together. So, some jogging definitely. I worked out my own schedule last summer: first I jogged 1 kilometer every other day for a month and then I just added another kilometer for every passing month. It was really good and I timed myself, after a few weeks I found myself looking forward to the days when I was supposed to run. Never would have thought!!!
Then some sort of weight-training, preferably at home. I'd like to start riding again as well, best training for the thighs, hands down. I hope and think that me and Anders will play tennis at least once a week, it's great fun.
And of course, lots of walks with our wonderful, wonderful dogs!!!

There, that's my plan and the plan is to loose somewhere around 30 kilos, but I'll be satisfied with 20 until August... =)
I'd love for you to follow me and I'd be really grateful if you'd drop me an encouraging line after your visit!!!

Now, a small glass of wine in front of the movie and then some nervous sleep before tomorrow's weigh-in.