It's hopeless! I'm gonna have to a have a totally silent wedding and I won't be able to wear any makeup... Just watched and episode of Grey's Anatomy where a couple get married and I cried so much I think the couch needs to hang out to dry...
So, is there such a ceremony? Where no one speaks, where I don't have to say anything and no one notices that I'm not wearing any makeup? I've never heard of it, but maybe someone out there has?
See, I cry. I cry to the Lionking, to Notting Hill, to Animal Planet. I cry when I'm fantastically happy, like when Anders proposed. I cry when I'm hysterically sad, like when Granny died. I cry when I'm angry, like when bad things happen to good people. I cry -- full stop. And you can think that makes me a weak person or whatever, I think the opposite. I think I'm a better person for feeling, I think it makes me try harder and stand stronger, but that's just what I think.
I grew up with two emotionally crippled parents and I don't wanna be like that when my time comes. I will NEVER use silent treatment or cut my children off, letting them think I don't care anymore. Refusing to cry in front of them, refusing to show emotions and letting them think that maybe that's the way it should be. Like I did.
So, a quiet wedding, without makeup, that's my plan... Who's with me? No one?... Hmmm...
Maybe not all tears are bad or a sign of weakness?
fredag 27 april 2012
torsdag 26 april 2012
And the Days Go By...
Time has no mercy, it just moves on, oblivious to what people think about it at all. The strange thing is that my days off from work seem to rush by in a hurry, while some days at work seem to more or less drag themselves by... Very strange!
I've got time off from work until next Thursday, very nice! Though things could have ended sadly yesterday: one of the dogs got to some left-over chicken that he shouldn't have... 10 years ago, I lost my first dog to this, thanks to our cat, who opened the garbage-cupboard and pulled the trash out onto the kitchen-floor and then the dog ate it. We had to put him down because of his internal injuries, so I'm totally hysterical when it comes to dogs and chicken-bones. Raw bones are okay, but once they've been prepared somehow, they are lethal to dogs. So, I went hysterical, cried and screamed and couldn't move, called poor Anders at work and somehow managed to get the message through, so he left work to come home. Called the vet in tears and they finally calmed me down, told me to but asparagus and feed him and wait 24 hours. So, I bought the freaking vegetables and since I didn't know if Yoggi had eaten also--he got some as well. He's not the problem though, he chews (read: gulfs anything) down and so he did with the asparagus. Harry on the other hand, he's more of a cat kind of dog: he hardly eats anything unless it's ham or meatballs or such stuff. So, asparagus--big NO NO according to Harry. Force-feeding a dog with wet, slimy asparagus: not my idea of a nice Wednesday... What he did like though was the margarine that I had bought as well. Since almost all fatty foods are good for binding stuff up in the stomach, I gave him some of that between our fights... Poor Harry, he can't really trust me very much after this. But they both seem fine, a little weak, but they'll make a full recovery and that's all I care about. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to eat grilled chicken again though. If I do, I'll take out the trash before I sit down to eat!
Tomorrow we're going home to Norrköping and Anders' family, to celebrate our engagement and also it's his sister's birthday. We're planning on visiting "our" church as well -- very excited about that!
I'll be back with pictures of it...
I've got time off from work until next Thursday, very nice! Though things could have ended sadly yesterday: one of the dogs got to some left-over chicken that he shouldn't have... 10 years ago, I lost my first dog to this, thanks to our cat, who opened the garbage-cupboard and pulled the trash out onto the kitchen-floor and then the dog ate it. We had to put him down because of his internal injuries, so I'm totally hysterical when it comes to dogs and chicken-bones. Raw bones are okay, but once they've been prepared somehow, they are lethal to dogs. So, I went hysterical, cried and screamed and couldn't move, called poor Anders at work and somehow managed to get the message through, so he left work to come home. Called the vet in tears and they finally calmed me down, told me to but asparagus and feed him and wait 24 hours. So, I bought the freaking vegetables and since I didn't know if Yoggi had eaten also--he got some as well. He's not the problem though, he chews (read: gulfs anything) down and so he did with the asparagus. Harry on the other hand, he's more of a cat kind of dog: he hardly eats anything unless it's ham or meatballs or such stuff. So, asparagus--big NO NO according to Harry. Force-feeding a dog with wet, slimy asparagus: not my idea of a nice Wednesday... What he did like though was the margarine that I had bought as well. Since almost all fatty foods are good for binding stuff up in the stomach, I gave him some of that between our fights... Poor Harry, he can't really trust me very much after this. But they both seem fine, a little weak, but they'll make a full recovery and that's all I care about. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to eat grilled chicken again though. If I do, I'll take out the trash before I sit down to eat!
Tomorrow we're going home to Norrköping and Anders' family, to celebrate our engagement and also it's his sister's birthday. We're planning on visiting "our" church as well -- very excited about that!
I'll be back with pictures of it...
måndag 23 april 2012
It's the Small Things...
...that can really make or break you. Today I'm on a high! Partly because I've gotten a good night's sleep and partly because I've been out on my first jog/walk in over a week, partly because I love my new shower-gel and lotion from Body Shop (Pink Grapefruit) and partly thanks to Mark Salling (Noah Puckerman in Glee)... So, nothing extraordinary, just everyday life and it's moments.
Mark Salling is H O T and I love his voice and mohican!
I smell FANTASTIC! =)
Yum!
Mark Salling is H O T and I love his voice and mohican!
fredag 20 april 2012
Nobody's Gonna Rain on My Parade...
...or in this case: wedding... I realized I knew the perfect song to go with yesterday's piece so here she is once again, the one and only: Lea Michele!
torsdag 19 april 2012
The Fast and The...?
So, I knew it beforehand really, but still it bothers me a bit. That some people can't be really, truly happy for others and though I know it's their loss --it still bothers me. And what bugs me the most is that I get so affected by it, that I start to think that maybe some of the ones that don't say that stuff out loud--they think it to!
"Wow, that's fast!"
Yes, I know it is, but I also know that it's right. Anders is the One, he couldn't possibly be more right! He's the Fred Astaire to my Ginger Rogers , he's the Rhett Butler to my Scarlet O'Hara, he's the Tarzan to my Jane and we finish each other's sentences, we move in the same flow and with him I feel complete and ready to take on the world. What more do I need to know? So what we've only known each other for a little more than 6 months? We could be together for 20 years, get married and still end up miserable. I don't believe time is an issue, at least not in this case. But I still feel a slight sting when I realize that people think we're moving to fast, especially when it comes from someone close...
Well, if anything -- we'll prove them wrong! Our love will prove them wrong in the end and that's all that matters. I believe in us and I don't need anybody's approval this time.
I'm getting married in 13 months and I intend to enjoy every single step towards my wedding, to really throw myself head-first in to all the tiny details, change my mind -- just to change it back again some days later. Try too many kinds of wedding-cakes, try on too many wedding-dresses, think and re-think the color of the flower-arrangements, glue myself to the first draft of invitations, make my first scrap-book about planning this wonderful event, make mistakes and get upset, probably a thousand times over.
Because I'm only doing this once. Because that's what forever means.
Anybody got a problem with that?...
"Wow, that's fast!"
Yes, I know it is, but I also know that it's right. Anders is the One, he couldn't possibly be more right! He's the Fred Astaire to my Ginger Rogers , he's the Rhett Butler to my Scarlet O'Hara, he's the Tarzan to my Jane and we finish each other's sentences, we move in the same flow and with him I feel complete and ready to take on the world. What more do I need to know? So what we've only known each other for a little more than 6 months? We could be together for 20 years, get married and still end up miserable. I don't believe time is an issue, at least not in this case. But I still feel a slight sting when I realize that people think we're moving to fast, especially when it comes from someone close...
Well, if anything -- we'll prove them wrong! Our love will prove them wrong in the end and that's all that matters. I believe in us and I don't need anybody's approval this time.
I'm getting married in 13 months and I intend to enjoy every single step towards my wedding, to really throw myself head-first in to all the tiny details, change my mind -- just to change it back again some days later. Try too many kinds of wedding-cakes, try on too many wedding-dresses, think and re-think the color of the flower-arrangements, glue myself to the first draft of invitations, make my first scrap-book about planning this wonderful event, make mistakes and get upset, probably a thousand times over.
Because I'm only doing this once. Because that's what forever means.
Anybody got a problem with that?...
onsdag 18 april 2012
My Slightly Delusional Heroes!
I'm sick. Again. So sick of being sick! It's like the forth time in three months... I should've never stopped smoking!
Well, the upside is that I can allow myself to spend lots and lots of time in front of the TV and yesterday I finished season 4 of Grey's Anatomy, one of my favourite-series. So, this morning (erhm, around lunch...) when I woke up--I drove to the store and bought the 5:th season and I'm watching episode 4 right now. I've loved the story and the characters from the start, which is quite funny since I'm terribly afraid of hospitals myself. But I'm mesmerized by their skill, their perfect knowledge in the OR and how totally messed up their private lives are, just like for us mortal people! Sometimes I recognize things so badly, sometimes I cry because of an emotionally tough case, sometimes I laugh my heart out thanks to something George says -- somehow I'm always influenced one way or the other. Also, one of the most beautiful, non skeletal, women in the business is in: Sara Ramirez as Dr. Callie Torrez:
Well, the upside is that I can allow myself to spend lots and lots of time in front of the TV and yesterday I finished season 4 of Grey's Anatomy, one of my favourite-series. So, this morning (erhm, around lunch...) when I woke up--I drove to the store and bought the 5:th season and I'm watching episode 4 right now. I've loved the story and the characters from the start, which is quite funny since I'm terribly afraid of hospitals myself. But I'm mesmerized by their skill, their perfect knowledge in the OR and how totally messed up their private lives are, just like for us mortal people! Sometimes I recognize things so badly, sometimes I cry because of an emotionally tough case, sometimes I laugh my heart out thanks to something George says -- somehow I'm always influenced one way or the other. Also, one of the most beautiful, non skeletal, women in the business is in: Sara Ramirez as Dr. Callie Torrez:
Isn't she beautiful?
Who is YOUR favorite at Seattle Grace?
tisdag 17 april 2012
Because That's What Forever Means.
Wow, it's been a few intense couple of days! Sorry I haven't updated you...
I knew London was magical and I was proved right on Sunday evening, walking through Kensington Gardens on our way to dinner! Anders led me in on a more secluded path and then he dropped down on one knee and presented a beautiful ring with a magical question! When I regained normal breathing I think I got "I do" out and after some serious re-makeup we got a very good picture to remember it by! But I'm not worried that this memory ever will fade even the slightest, it was the most wonderful moment in my life!
I knew London was magical and I was proved right on Sunday evening, walking through Kensington Gardens on our way to dinner! Anders led me in on a more secluded path and then he dropped down on one knee and presented a beautiful ring with a magical question! When I regained normal breathing I think I got "I do" out and after some serious re-makeup we got a very good picture to remember it by! But I'm not worried that this memory ever will fade even the slightest, it was the most wonderful moment in my life!
I love you!
Para Siempre
söndag 15 april 2012
It's In Our Nature...
For breakfast today, we headed towards Marble Arch and Prêt à Manger, which a colleague of mine had recommended, and we bought: tea, orangejuice, sandwiches, a bowl of fruit and croissants--YUMMY! We then ate it in Hyde Park and I don't know why, but to me food always tastes better outdoors...
Yum!
After that we took a nice walk (and another cup of tea) through Hyde Park and Kensington Gardens to get to our goal: Museum of Natural History! The funny thing is that right now they have a special exhibition called "Animals Inside Out", which is the "sequel" to "Body World" that Anders went to in Berlin last summer. It's about plastination, which is an advanced method of draining a body of all fluids and filling it up with a sort of silicone to show veins, arteries, muscles and everything else inside our body. It was a little freaky, but also extremely interesting! Though I really feel that the human exhibition had not been for me... Unfortunately, photographing was prohibited, but we bought the book, so you'll get to see some of it...
The Book about the exhibition...
This is what the horse's head looks like when you fill up all it's veins with red silicone...
The elephant took 3 years to plastinate!!!
I'll tell you more about the man behind this, Gunther von Hagens, another day. Until then, you can read more about plastination at their website Body World of Animals.
We also saw lots of other animals and dinosaurs and I think it's a truly amazing place, luckily for me--Anders felt the same way! He even took longer in some of the stands than I did, a new experience... =)
Me, outside the museum of museums!
Anders! <3
Us outside Royal Albert Hall... <3
Mr. T...
After that, we went back to the hotel for an hours rest, then headed in to Oxford Street and ate Indian at The Curry Leaf, which you can read more about in tomorrow's P & P's Gastroguide (too tired to write about the food right now).
We ended our evening with tea and a long walk through Hyde Park, a place I'm madly in love with!
Now some sleep, before another amazing breakfast in Hyde Park and a day at... London Zoo!!!
Cheers!
lördag 14 april 2012
Where Do I Find...
...a really good teddy-bear? See, I collect them and last time I was here, I found the most gorgeous thing at Harrod's and now I need to find a new one. I found a shop online called www.buildyourownbear.co.uk and they seem to have some shops, but does anyone know of any other places to look?
Morning Jog/Walk in Kensington!
Gooooood morning! I just got in from the most wonderful morning jog/walk in Kensington Gardens and the pale spring-sun! I'm in love with this place and I know it's silly, but here even the birds are fun to watch and I'm NOT big on winged creatures at home... =D I could stay here forever and after checking FB and the pictures my friends have uploaded--I sure don't wanna go home right now! Don't get me wrong--I love snow, but not in April!
Now I've woken the sleepyhead up, just a quick shower and then off for breakfast at Prêt à Manger and then: British Museum of Natural History!!! Woop woop!!!
Now I've woken the sleepyhead up, just a quick shower and then off for breakfast at Prêt à Manger and then: British Museum of Natural History!!! Woop woop!!!
My First Musical...
I'm in love! Well, you've probably suspected that before since I write quite a lot about Anders... But I'm also in love with: musicals! I've suspected it for long, but after tonight I know it for sure.
Though I must say, I think, that it's probably even better if you haven't seen the movie first... I have--and I LOVE it and especially the cast. Meryl Streep is such an amazingly versatile actress and I think that this is one of her best roles ever.Also I love Stellan and Bill Andersson has been changes to Bill Something from Croydon, which bothered me a bit. My overall impression of the male-characters is that they pale in comparison to Stellan, Colin Firth & Pierce Brosnan, though they are actors and maybe not as skilled singers...
And I didn't much care for the scene with Sophie's nightmare, but other than that--amazing!
Sky's friends were hilarious, as was Tanya. The women who played as Donna & Sophie were extraordinary singers!
We didn't have good seats at all, but that didn't bother at all, we missed out on nothing.
Pretty cool that ABBA's music has hit so big and that the show still sells out full houses! For me it's a memory for life and next time I hope to visit Broadway.
I have more things to discuss concerning the beauty/weight issue, but it'll have to wait...
Now we'll catch a few hours of sleep before tomorrow's breakfast hunt and a day spent at museums. First out: British Museum of National History and since that might take a few hours, I'll get back to you on the next point in out itinerary...
Went to Starbuck's at West End and got the wrong order, I did think that it was the most disgusting cafe mocha I've ever had... =D
Anders is already snoring, so I better hit the pillow as well!
Though I must say, I think, that it's probably even better if you haven't seen the movie first... I have--and I LOVE it and especially the cast. Meryl Streep is such an amazingly versatile actress and I think that this is one of her best roles ever.Also I love Stellan and Bill Andersson has been changes to Bill Something from Croydon, which bothered me a bit. My overall impression of the male-characters is that they pale in comparison to Stellan, Colin Firth & Pierce Brosnan, though they are actors and maybe not as skilled singers...
And I didn't much care for the scene with Sophie's nightmare, but other than that--amazing!
Sky's friends were hilarious, as was Tanya. The women who played as Donna & Sophie were extraordinary singers!
We didn't have good seats at all, but that didn't bother at all, we missed out on nothing.
Pretty cool that ABBA's music has hit so big and that the show still sells out full houses! For me it's a memory for life and next time I hope to visit Broadway.
I have more things to discuss concerning the beauty/weight issue, but it'll have to wait...
Now we'll catch a few hours of sleep before tomorrow's breakfast hunt and a day spent at museums. First out: British Museum of National History and since that might take a few hours, I'll get back to you on the next point in out itinerary...
Went to Starbuck's at West End and got the wrong order, I did think that it was the most disgusting cafe mocha I've ever had... =D
Anders is already snoring, so I better hit the pillow as well!
fredag 13 april 2012
Arrived in Our Paradise!
So, we're finally here and enjoying ourselves crazily! All day we've both come to the conclusion that we really want to live here, I've always felt more at home in England and Anders loves it here too--so maybe we'll go L'Angleterra for real one day...
Well, after having lunch under a tree and a nice hot cup of tea in Kensington Gardens, we've chilled in our room--but now it's time to get stylish and go to West End for my first musical: Msma Mia!
See ya!
Well, after having lunch under a tree and a nice hot cup of tea in Kensington Gardens, we've chilled in our room--but now it's time to get stylish and go to West End for my first musical: Msma Mia!
See ya!
Terminal 5...
And... We're here! Arlanda International Airport, terminal 5! Time for breakfast, though Starbuck's will have to wait... =( Well prepared after Taxfree, don't you think?!? =D
torsdag 12 april 2012
The Soundtrack of Packing...
In the middle of all the packing and for those of you who know me--you can see the chaos... =) But ms. Doolittle makes it a lot more fun!
Pack Up!
Ohhh, it's getting closer! The flight leaves in "just" 22 hours, I'm so psyched! This trip may only be 4 days and "only" to London, but it's our first trip together and it's LONDON--the most magical place I know of...
So, first things first and I'm making a list of things I'm packing--I have a slight tendency to bring too much... =D
•Pillow - I don't travel anywhere without my own pillow!
•Toilet bag - I'm a woman and that says it all, right? =D
•Black high-boots
•Bioride walking-shoes - for comfortable hours around town
•The Little Black One - thought I'd really dress up for dinner...
•Fancy black tights to go with the dress -must buy ASAP!
•Black jeans
•Dark blue jeans
•Lots of nice tops
•Books - Harry Potter book 1 & 2 (since we're not having out book-buying-binge until Monday...)
•Guidebook
•Sunglasses
•Jacket
•Umbrellas
•Camera - might need to check battery and memory-card...
•Phonecharger & adapter
•The Mac?... - really can't decide!
•Training clothes
•Runningshoes
•Sports-bras and Fancy
•Socks & undies
Have I missed anything essential?!?
So, first things first and I'm making a list of things I'm packing--I have a slight tendency to bring too much... =D
•Pillow - I don't travel anywhere without my own pillow!
•Toilet bag - I'm a woman and that says it all, right? =D
•Black high-boots
•Bioride walking-shoes - for comfortable hours around town
•The Little Black One - thought I'd really dress up for dinner...
•Fancy black tights to go with the dress -must buy ASAP!
•Black jeans
•Dark blue jeans
•Lots of nice tops
•Books - Harry Potter book 1 & 2 (since we're not having out book-buying-binge until Monday...)
•Guidebook
•Sunglasses
•Jacket
•Umbrellas
•Camera - might need to check battery and memory-card...
•Phonecharger & adapter
•The Mac?... - really can't decide!
•Training clothes
•Runningshoes
•Sports-bras and Fancy
•Socks & undies
Have I missed anything essential?!?
onsdag 11 april 2012
Second Time Around...
I just thought of something: I'm all about second chances and I don't want anyone to accuse me of jumping the gun or using big, fancy words without thinking things through. So, my boycott of Gina Tricot--is it really fair? Well, considering that it's only roughly just 6 months since they last used crazily deformed mannequins and were questioned about their views on female beauty--I think it's fair to say that they got their chance...
Here's the picture from 2011 and here and here are the articles to go with it from Aftonbladet & GP!
The answers given by people representing Gina Tricot has this far been far, far from satisfying! Join me in a silent protest--buy your clothes elsewhere (and remember--Lindex is no better...) and support a healthier view on beauty!
Here's To Us!
I need to finish this day with some kind of celebration, a toast to all the beautiful people out there and what better way to do that than with a song with the most talented person I've ever seen or heard: Ms Lea Michele from the amazing cast of Glee?
So, Here's To Us!
So, Here's To Us!
I Hope We Will Follow...
No, the urge to go out on an evening jog/walk disappeared somewhere between work and the apartment and was replaced by nausea and freezing... Much nicer, don't you think? Well, as long as I go out tomorrow and on Saturday, I haven't messed up my schedule and that's what's important. So instead we'll make tea and watch an episode of The X-Files, then making it an early night I think.
In today's Metro (Swedish edition) there is a great column by Hillevi Wahl, following the debacle about the emaciated mannequin at Gina Tricot, and you can read it here!
I was so glad to read that Israel will lead the way to a healthier and brighter future for all of us, no matter what we may look like, by being the first country in the world to ban the usage of models with a BMI below 18,5. The ban means that magazines aren't allowed to use models that skinny and neither are they welcome on the runway, of course this has caused an uproar amongst the models themselves! They claim that many of them are that skinny by nature and can't help it and though it may very well be so and there's nothing wrong with that--only 5 % of the population belong to that group and Israel have chosen to legislate for the greater part of their population in this case.
This is one step, and as small as it may be, it gives me hope. Hope that we can start to make something good, to turn a bad trend around and open up for new possibilities. I hope we'll find ourselves in a world where the majority of women (and men of course) can feel good about themselves, a world were fashion-designers make clothes that actually fit normal people and a more forgiving and accepting world.
As Hillevi says--we are often praised for our beautiful women in Sweden and I agree fully, I just wish that they all could see it themselves.
It is often said that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, and though that may be true--it would be much better if it didn't. If we all were able to feel beautiful regardless of what others think or say, maybe a foolish hope? But a fool's hope is still better than no hope at all, don't you think?
In today's Metro (Swedish edition) there is a great column by Hillevi Wahl, following the debacle about the emaciated mannequin at Gina Tricot, and you can read it here!
I was so glad to read that Israel will lead the way to a healthier and brighter future for all of us, no matter what we may look like, by being the first country in the world to ban the usage of models with a BMI below 18,5. The ban means that magazines aren't allowed to use models that skinny and neither are they welcome on the runway, of course this has caused an uproar amongst the models themselves! They claim that many of them are that skinny by nature and can't help it and though it may very well be so and there's nothing wrong with that--only 5 % of the population belong to that group and Israel have chosen to legislate for the greater part of their population in this case.
This is one step, and as small as it may be, it gives me hope. Hope that we can start to make something good, to turn a bad trend around and open up for new possibilities. I hope we'll find ourselves in a world where the majority of women (and men of course) can feel good about themselves, a world were fashion-designers make clothes that actually fit normal people and a more forgiving and accepting world.
As Hillevi says--we are often praised for our beautiful women in Sweden and I agree fully, I just wish that they all could see it themselves.
It is often said that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, and though that may be true--it would be much better if it didn't. If we all were able to feel beautiful regardless of what others think or say, maybe a foolish hope? But a fool's hope is still better than no hope at all, don't you think?
Looking Forward to It!
I think I'm on to something, something really good! Like a lasting habit... See, all day I've been thinking about this evening when I get to go out for my jog/walk! I hope the feeling remains throughout the day and that it isn't overshadowed by the need to just sit close to Anders on the sofa... =D
tisdag 10 april 2012
The Sweet Scent Of...
I'm a huge fan of candles and I also connect scents with memories easily, so scented candles are one of my favorite things when it comes to "decorating" at home. When I discovered Yankee Candles--I thought someone was yanking my tail, they are absolutely amazing!!! So, if you have a birthday or other festivities coming up--there's a big chance I might give you one of these amazing candles.
You can buy them at Yankee Candle Sweden, UK or US, and these are my favorites:
You can buy them at Yankee Candle Sweden, UK or US, and these are my favorites:
Cherry Blossom
Home Sweet Home
Evening Air
Clean Cotton
Sweet Honeysuckle
Which one is or will become YOUR favorite this spring?
The Love of My Life...
Today we've been us for 6 months... That's so strange, I could've sworn it was longer, like 6 years or something.
I wasn't going to meet anybody, I was going to be single for at least a year, after breaking up a 5 year long relationship. I just registered on that dating-site for fun, just to talk, maybe a casual date someday, nothing serious. I was about to end my membership as well, when I got a very special e-mail, from a guy who really knew how to write. I was intrigued, from the first line there was a very special feeling and even though I wasn't supposed to get in to anything, I was trapped. After that, things went from bad to worse, so to speak. With every mail, every line, each time we chatted, then each text: I was reeled in tighter and tighter until at last there was only one way to find out. Talking on the phone. I already knew that his language sent shivers down my spine, but the voice is so important to me... I was scared that I wouldn't like his voice and being the brave man that he is, he tried to catch me off guard, by calling 15 minutes before the appointed time! =) I was in the shower and missed his call... I went outside and walked to a small park nearby, where I called him up again and held my breath. I think I held it for a good while after he started talking, not daring to break the magic spell that obviously was at work that night. For I loved his voice. It was every bit as amazing as I had hoped and dreamed, strong and absolutely enchanting. So we talked. For 6 hours straight and we've kept talking ever since, never running out of things to talk about. Anders has this amazing gift of being able to talk about ANYTHING and still make it interesting! Fascinating! I really think he should work as a teacher, he could teach any subject and I know that his pupils would adore him.
Anyways, after one week of talking for hours on the phone, we had decided that I should come down to Kalmar where he lived at the time. I had told him all of my quirks and he fulfilled all the "qualifications" I had given myself the luxury of coming up with... Still, the butterflies were ENORMOUS! I packed the dogs and drove for 2,5 hours to get to his place in Kalmar. I called him when I parked on his street and I walked out towards his door. He came out and we started running and without thinking about the greatness of it--I ran in to the arms of the man I'd spend the rest of my life with. But after that week-end, that was crystal-clear. Since then, it's been us. Has it only been 6 months? I can't imagine life without him and he makes me the best I can be.
And all those months before he moved here, my crazy little break-down that week before he came here for good--thinking that I needed the apartment to myself a little longer... I laugh now, it seems so stupid. The day his things moved in to our apartment was fantastic, just as every day since he wrote his way in to my heart!
I was always so scared of the future, but now I really look forward to it, all of it! I've been lucky enough to find my other half, the one person in the world that I'm supposed to be with and now I believe that there is one person out there for all of us--but not everybody finds their person. Sadly, because I think this world would be much better if everyone did find their perfect match. I know I'm a much better person since I found Anders, or he found me, and I wake up everyday wanting to be even better--the best I can possibly be.
I feel braver and more competent since I met him, because even if I don't manage all the things I want to do--I know that I get to come home to Anders every day and he will still love me no matter what.
And that's all that really matters.
I wasn't going to meet anybody, I was going to be single for at least a year, after breaking up a 5 year long relationship. I just registered on that dating-site for fun, just to talk, maybe a casual date someday, nothing serious. I was about to end my membership as well, when I got a very special e-mail, from a guy who really knew how to write. I was intrigued, from the first line there was a very special feeling and even though I wasn't supposed to get in to anything, I was trapped. After that, things went from bad to worse, so to speak. With every mail, every line, each time we chatted, then each text: I was reeled in tighter and tighter until at last there was only one way to find out. Talking on the phone. I already knew that his language sent shivers down my spine, but the voice is so important to me... I was scared that I wouldn't like his voice and being the brave man that he is, he tried to catch me off guard, by calling 15 minutes before the appointed time! =) I was in the shower and missed his call... I went outside and walked to a small park nearby, where I called him up again and held my breath. I think I held it for a good while after he started talking, not daring to break the magic spell that obviously was at work that night. For I loved his voice. It was every bit as amazing as I had hoped and dreamed, strong and absolutely enchanting. So we talked. For 6 hours straight and we've kept talking ever since, never running out of things to talk about. Anders has this amazing gift of being able to talk about ANYTHING and still make it interesting! Fascinating! I really think he should work as a teacher, he could teach any subject and I know that his pupils would adore him.
Anyways, after one week of talking for hours on the phone, we had decided that I should come down to Kalmar where he lived at the time. I had told him all of my quirks and he fulfilled all the "qualifications" I had given myself the luxury of coming up with... Still, the butterflies were ENORMOUS! I packed the dogs and drove for 2,5 hours to get to his place in Kalmar. I called him when I parked on his street and I walked out towards his door. He came out and we started running and without thinking about the greatness of it--I ran in to the arms of the man I'd spend the rest of my life with. But after that week-end, that was crystal-clear. Since then, it's been us. Has it only been 6 months? I can't imagine life without him and he makes me the best I can be.
And all those months before he moved here, my crazy little break-down that week before he came here for good--thinking that I needed the apartment to myself a little longer... I laugh now, it seems so stupid. The day his things moved in to our apartment was fantastic, just as every day since he wrote his way in to my heart!
I was always so scared of the future, but now I really look forward to it, all of it! I've been lucky enough to find my other half, the one person in the world that I'm supposed to be with and now I believe that there is one person out there for all of us--but not everybody finds their person. Sadly, because I think this world would be much better if everyone did find their perfect match. I know I'm a much better person since I found Anders, or he found me, and I wake up everyday wanting to be even better--the best I can possibly be.
I feel braver and more competent since I met him, because even if I don't manage all the things I want to do--I know that I get to come home to Anders every day and he will still love me no matter what.
And that's all that really matters.
I love you more than anything!
måndag 9 april 2012
It Hurts To See...
This mannequin was displayed in the window of Gina Tricot's store at Sergelgatan in Stockholm
It makes me furious and so freaking sad that this is what young girls have to see when shopping for clothes on a daily basis!!! I mean--the ribs??? Give me a show of hands all of you who think this looks seriously good! No wonder so many of us feel bad about our weight or looks! I might be just a wee bit biased (or some might think: jealous...), but this is wrong. All the guys I've talked to say they think it looks disgusting, but it might still affect young girls negatively and the CEO says it's supposed to be a size 36 EU/6 US. Why does it always have to be a size 6? What's wrong with size 8 or 10? When will we accept the fact that we all look different and be "allowed" to feel good about ourselves just the way we are? I'm trying to loose weight due to health-issues and because I want to, not because I want to look like a skeleton mannequin... Not that I ever could, my bone-structure won't allow it!
I know several women who have suffered from eating disorders and though I strongly feel that we all are responsible for taking care of ourselves and our bodies--this is not the way to teach us that we are perfect just the way we are. And I do believe that we aren't more than humans and we do get affected by what we see, what we read, what we hear. I for one hate shopping! I was never a huge fan of it, but since my weight-gain 5 years back--it's gone from a lack of interest to some small kind of phobia for me. I know that the clothes I think look great won't fit, they never make them in my size. Let's not even get started on jeans. I love jeans, but Levi's and Diesel have never made jeans for girls with lots of jelly... =) Just saying'. Kim Kardashian has not changed that fact and maybe she and J.Lo can get their jeans custom-fit, but most of us can't and therefore we have to settle for old ladies "jeans" at KappAhl... Not a lot of fun I can tell you...
A few years back, Lindex (read an article here) launched a collection of clothes called "Affordable Luxury" by designer Ewa Larsson--this collection was only made in sizes Small and Medium with the explanation that for larger sizes they would have had to make totally different clothes!!! Since then, I have never sat my foot in a Lindex store. My silent protest which will now expand to Gina Tricot. I think it's so tragic, I'm lacking words for how I feel, but for the 13-year old me who cried herself to sleep after days of mockery at school--I have to do something!
I dream of creating my own collection of clothes one day, one where all sizes are available, where the right to look fantastic isn't limited to a number. I've already thought up a name for it: Wicked Beauty by Wallin Bååth, how's that for a name?!?
torsdag 5 april 2012
Happy Birthday Dad, I Love You!
My Dad was born 77 years ago today, somewhere between a rock and a hard place in the deepest forests of our country. They were 4 siblings, but his elder sister died in a tragic accident when she was 18 years old. I don't know much about my grandfather, he died from colon-cancer long before I was born, I'm not even sure if any one of my elder brothers ever met him. I've seen pictures and since Dad doesn't seem to want to talk about him that much, I've stopped asking. What I do know is that he hit Dad and his siblings, as was almost custom back then. Dad has told me how grandpa made them go and get the twigs he'd hit them with themselves... Awfully cruel and it is impossible to understand that Dad ever suffered such cruelty when you meet him--I have met few kinder people in my days. Rough, yes no doubt, but the kindest man there ever was. Maybe being beaten as a child can do two things to you: either you do exactly the same thing to others as was done onto you, or the opposite: you'd never want any one to suffer as you have done and thus you might even overcompensate?... For my Dad has never, not once, even raised his voice at me. He is amazingly sweet with children and all animals.
I've only seen him cry twice in my life: when I got my driver's license (he was there with me) and of course when we had to put down our first borderterrier Batman.
His life has not been easy, but he has never complained, the viking that he is. He has told me that he dreamt of becoming a surgeon as a child, and this always brings a smile to my face. Not that he wouldn't have been great at it, I have no doubt about that, but when you see his hands today... They're HUGE! After years and years of hard work, they're calloused and scarred and it is indeed impossible to imagine them in an OR... Therefor he has always told me how important it is to have a good education and he has inspired me to do good in school. He is very upset that my biggest dream is to join the police-force though, he's not such a big fan of them... =)
We have always been close, as I've told you before, I trailed him like a puppy when I was a kid and though he has been away working a lot and for long periods of time--that bond never broke. But it became even stronger during the upsetting events that took place in the winter of 2009/2010. First Granny's illness and then Dad's cancer, I could hardly stand straight when he told me what they'd found. Cancer... How can 6 letters contain so much pain and fear? They're just letters, still I know they make people all around the world shiver with fear and grief. I was lucky. We were lucky, Dad and I, he made it out alive, but alone. Mum left him after 30 years in the middle of the worst battle of his life. He can't forgive and neither can I. Because I was there, I saw what it did to him, how it broke him down. My Dad is far from flawless, but he has sacrificed everything to give me and Mum a good life, to make it possible for us to have our horses and it has cost him a lot.
I think a small piece of him died then, he has not really been the same ever since. Mum is out of both our lives since two years back, she remarried only 4 months after leaving Dad and try as I might--I cannot understand how she could do that to him.
Today we're closer than ever, Dad and I. We live only two blocks away from each other and we talk on the phone everyday. I'm glad he and Anders seem to like each other a lot, they talk as if I wasn't there sometimes, but I don't mind.
All I wish for right now, is a happy ending for my Dad. Not like in dying peacefully, I will keep him with us for many years ahead, but in him having something to take joy and pride in again. I wish for a small farm where he can live in his own little house and help out with whatever he wants to do, or just putter around and feel good. I also hope that we'll be able to go to Australia, for that has always been his dream. It's expensive, but I'll do anything to make it happen.
So, Happy Birthday Dad, I love you so much.
I've only seen him cry twice in my life: when I got my driver's license (he was there with me) and of course when we had to put down our first borderterrier Batman.
His life has not been easy, but he has never complained, the viking that he is. He has told me that he dreamt of becoming a surgeon as a child, and this always brings a smile to my face. Not that he wouldn't have been great at it, I have no doubt about that, but when you see his hands today... They're HUGE! After years and years of hard work, they're calloused and scarred and it is indeed impossible to imagine them in an OR... Therefor he has always told me how important it is to have a good education and he has inspired me to do good in school. He is very upset that my biggest dream is to join the police-force though, he's not such a big fan of them... =)
We have always been close, as I've told you before, I trailed him like a puppy when I was a kid and though he has been away working a lot and for long periods of time--that bond never broke. But it became even stronger during the upsetting events that took place in the winter of 2009/2010. First Granny's illness and then Dad's cancer, I could hardly stand straight when he told me what they'd found. Cancer... How can 6 letters contain so much pain and fear? They're just letters, still I know they make people all around the world shiver with fear and grief. I was lucky. We were lucky, Dad and I, he made it out alive, but alone. Mum left him after 30 years in the middle of the worst battle of his life. He can't forgive and neither can I. Because I was there, I saw what it did to him, how it broke him down. My Dad is far from flawless, but he has sacrificed everything to give me and Mum a good life, to make it possible for us to have our horses and it has cost him a lot.
I think a small piece of him died then, he has not really been the same ever since. Mum is out of both our lives since two years back, she remarried only 4 months after leaving Dad and try as I might--I cannot understand how she could do that to him.
Today we're closer than ever, Dad and I. We live only two blocks away from each other and we talk on the phone everyday. I'm glad he and Anders seem to like each other a lot, they talk as if I wasn't there sometimes, but I don't mind.
All I wish for right now, is a happy ending for my Dad. Not like in dying peacefully, I will keep him with us for many years ahead, but in him having something to take joy and pride in again. I wish for a small farm where he can live in his own little house and help out with whatever he wants to do, or just putter around and feel good. I also hope that we'll be able to go to Australia, for that has always been his dream. It's expensive, but I'll do anything to make it happen.
So, Happy Birthday Dad, I love you so much.
Dad's debute in the show-ring!
onsdag 4 april 2012
Trying New Things...
Well, I know since long ago that I hate training if it takes too much time and/or effort to get there. Once there, I love it, but if I have to take the car or tube or whatever to get there--I'm likely to invent whatever reason not to go...
So, the best training is the one that gets done, right? Therefor jogging/running would be perfect for me! Just one teeny tiny problem: I hate it. Well, I used to hate it and then I loved it and now I kind of hate it again... But that's just because I've gotten really comfortable here in my comfort-zone since I met Anders. Sorry love, but you really messed up my training... =) Time to change all that now and I've been through many ideas over the past few weeks as to HOW to get me back in to it. Last year, I decided to start running and since I need to compete and never do anything without a tough goal, I set the goal to run The New York Mini 10 K for women... The plan was to run 1 K three times a week the first month and then add 1 K each month. That went really well, until November and 3 K--when I met Anders. Lost focus, lost the will to try and lost track of everything not related to Anders... It's sweet to be in love, but my, it makes you stupid! =)
Since then I haven't really even tried running. But, now's the time to change that and first I thought about doing it the same way again, but I changed my mind. See, where I used to live, we had great tracks on soft ground that felt good under my feet. Where I live now I don't. I can only run on asphalt here and that is not at all as nice... Since I'm so heavy I'm also a little worried about my knees and legs on this hard surface. So, I plan to invest in some really good shoes and also: take it slowly. I know myself--I push too hard and then give up when it get's too tough. Not this time. For 2 weeks (starting Monday) I will do intervals (jog 1 mins/walk 2 mins) at least 3 K's 3-4 times/week and then do 1*1 for 2 weeks and see the results on that.
I tried it today on my regular 6,5 K walk with the dogs, the last 3 K's I jogged 1 minute and walked 2 minutes all the way. Felt really good--but I need to constantly think about my posture, opening up and straightening up to breathe easier and better and to help my body as much as possible.
I'll get back to you on the progress... =)
My goals are these: manage 2 K's in 10 minutes by week 25 and I've also decided to sign up for ToppLoppet here in Stockholm on September 22:nd! It's a 5 or 10 K run in Hagaparken and it'll be my first competion ever...
If you haven't read ToppHälsa, give it a try, best ever in my opinion!
So, the best training is the one that gets done, right? Therefor jogging/running would be perfect for me! Just one teeny tiny problem: I hate it. Well, I used to hate it and then I loved it and now I kind of hate it again... But that's just because I've gotten really comfortable here in my comfort-zone since I met Anders. Sorry love, but you really messed up my training... =) Time to change all that now and I've been through many ideas over the past few weeks as to HOW to get me back in to it. Last year, I decided to start running and since I need to compete and never do anything without a tough goal, I set the goal to run The New York Mini 10 K for women... The plan was to run 1 K three times a week the first month and then add 1 K each month. That went really well, until November and 3 K--when I met Anders. Lost focus, lost the will to try and lost track of everything not related to Anders... It's sweet to be in love, but my, it makes you stupid! =)
Since then I haven't really even tried running. But, now's the time to change that and first I thought about doing it the same way again, but I changed my mind. See, where I used to live, we had great tracks on soft ground that felt good under my feet. Where I live now I don't. I can only run on asphalt here and that is not at all as nice... Since I'm so heavy I'm also a little worried about my knees and legs on this hard surface. So, I plan to invest in some really good shoes and also: take it slowly. I know myself--I push too hard and then give up when it get's too tough. Not this time. For 2 weeks (starting Monday) I will do intervals (jog 1 mins/walk 2 mins) at least 3 K's 3-4 times/week and then do 1*1 for 2 weeks and see the results on that.
I tried it today on my regular 6,5 K walk with the dogs, the last 3 K's I jogged 1 minute and walked 2 minutes all the way. Felt really good--but I need to constantly think about my posture, opening up and straightening up to breathe easier and better and to help my body as much as possible.
I'll get back to you on the progress... =)
My goals are these: manage 2 K's in 10 minutes by week 25 and I've also decided to sign up for ToppLoppet here in Stockholm on September 22:nd! It's a 5 or 10 K run in Hagaparken and it'll be my first competion ever...
If you haven't read ToppHälsa, give it a try, best ever in my opinion!
Results Week 5
Weight: 102,6 kilos (226,19 lbs)
Results: -1,2 kilos (-2,64 lbs)
Soooo happy!!! Yey me!!!
I still don't think I'll make my goal for London, which is too bad, but this is giving me every bit of fighting-spirit I need to keep trying and that counts for a lot more! Continuity is my new friend and guiding star.
Results: -1,2 kilos (-2,64 lbs)
Soooo happy!!! Yey me!!!
I still don't think I'll make my goal for London, which is too bad, but this is giving me every bit of fighting-spirit I need to keep trying and that counts for a lot more! Continuity is my new friend and guiding star.
Summary Week 3
Well, nothing special to brag about this week either, a cold put a stop to any serious kind of training. Too bad--since it was my easy week at work and I had lots opportunities to work-out. I've started worrying about getting these colds all the time, I've never been sick this often before! I thought I'd get BETTER once I quit smoking, and I quit in December... And also I am a little worried that I might not have the best immune-system for swimming right now, my guess is that it might not be the most healthy environment in town... So, no more swimming before London, I do not want to risk having even the tiniest cold ruining our trip! I'll have to make do with walks and home work-outs for now...
But I took one 6,5 K walk and ran 1 K last week, a really intense week huh?... =)
But I took one 6,5 K walk and ran 1 K last week, a really intense week huh?... =)
måndag 2 april 2012
Glory Days...
That's the title of my favorite Springsteen-song and a great song it is. But this is not about my love for music, it's about another love of mine. The greatest there ever was and ever will be: Granny. As some of you know I lost her to a bad stroke almost two years ago. She was my best friend, my soulmate, the love of my life, she was everything to me. Loosing her almost cost me my own life, the pain almost killed me from the inside. But somehow I managed to stay alive, only thanks to all the wonderful people around me: Dad, Fredrik and his family and my closest friends. Without you I wouldn't be here today and I hope you know I love you all--no matter what. Well, I won't drown in that ditch right now, if you want to read more about it, there's a blog and a book to tell the story: Kära Mormiz.
But, when she had had her stroke she was first in intensive care and that was awful, but at least they're only there for a short time. After that she was placed in a home in her hometown and we went there to visit her many times and that's where this story begins. Though I am sure the staff did the best they could, that was not a good place to be and definitely not a place to recover and gain strength to come back to life. The rooms where cold and smelled like hospitals do, totally vast and un-personal. The only positive thing was the cat that lived there, it was the joy of their day if the cat decided to sleep in their bed for a while. The food was dry and probably industrial. I couldn't see any happiness in the people living there, they had all just given up. I'm not surprised! A stroke is a very cruel enemy to encounter, everything you are can be taken away in seconds and getting help right away is essential for the recovery. Granny lost her will to live there, I think she wished she had died when the stroke hit her in her home and that she wouldn't have had to suffer all those months at that home. But Mum and I fought like idiots to keep her with us, trying to reach in and grab hold of who she was before her stroke, hoping she was still in there. And on her good days, I think we were close to succeeding, I think we almost reached her and made her remember life before her illness. If you have seen Lord of the Rings-The Two Towers, you know the scene with King Thèoden in Edoras when he is overtaken by the evil spirit of Saruman. There is like a film around him, a mist of some sort and on the other side is the real person, the one they were before--it was exactly like that with Granny. But somedays that film seemed to break up and the Granny we used to know shone through. I'm not sure if this is typical for all stroke patients, but it is the experience I've got and it makes me believe that with the right kind of treatment and stimulation, more people can be saved back to a better life, maybe even a really good life.
I strongly believe that we over-medicate our old and sick today, thinking that a handful of pills will work miracles and nothing else needs to be done with them once they've taken their meds, nothing can be done. My medical expertise is close to none, but I am willing to take in what I see with my eyes and use the poor experiences I have and do something good, something that I believe in.
I don't believe in heavy doses of strong medicines, I believe in humanity, in touch, in empathy, in laughter and I do believe in the healing powers of animals.
Laugh all you want, this is what I believe in. As I've said: I don't know much about medicine and treatments, but I know that animals have a positive effect on most of us. In the States they are used much more frequently than here in Sweden, as we often fail to use them due to issues concerning allergies and such. Some retirement-homes do use dogs and cats though, with great results, as well as in the treatment of children with different disorders and social problems. More about this here in this article from The New York Times.
I also believe that industrially made food is not as good for us as the food we make ourselves, even better if we perhaps can grow some of the vegetables, maybe a few chickens to provide eggs everyday, baking bread instead of buying it (cheaper as well!) and also: let the elderly suggest what they want to eat, can they participate? LET THEM! Reducing them to heaps of meat just sitting in wheel-chairs or whatever makes me FURIOUS! And I see it ALL the time, it breaks my heart. Some may be too weak or too sick to do things, but not all of them. I understand that the work and life of the staff is not and easy one, but this must first and foremost be about the people we care for. It's not their fault that the hours are long and the pay is bad, they've already paid their dues to this country-now it's our turn to take care of them! A little change can make a big difference.
I also noticed that not all of the people living at the same home as Granny, got as frequent visits... This pains me much and though I understand that it might be hard to find the time between a full-time job, kids, husbands and wives, grocery-shopping and what-not--these are the people who brought us into this world! We owe it to them to take time, nothing should matter more in fact. Bring the kids, bring the whole family around. If the weather is good-take a walk outside so the others don't get jealous... =) I can't imagine anything worse than being really sick and maybe close to dying and then be left all alone. Horrible and cruel. No one should suffer or die alone. The security and warmth of a hand on the shoulder or arm goes a long way. Touch can make wonders, if only on the inside.
So--this is the start of my dream. My Glory Days in reverse I guess. A dream and a hope that our last days may be among the better of our lives, when you can rejoice and reminisce about the good old days, but also look forward to tomorrow.
At Glory Days people will live, not be contained until death comes and relieves them.
It started out as a small, quivering thought in the back of my head two years ago. But I thought it impossible, how could I ever achieve all that? Today I only ask myself one question: how could I ever live with myself if I didn't even try?
Emotionally drained right now, I hope to get back to you as soon as possible on this.
But, when she had had her stroke she was first in intensive care and that was awful, but at least they're only there for a short time. After that she was placed in a home in her hometown and we went there to visit her many times and that's where this story begins. Though I am sure the staff did the best they could, that was not a good place to be and definitely not a place to recover and gain strength to come back to life. The rooms where cold and smelled like hospitals do, totally vast and un-personal. The only positive thing was the cat that lived there, it was the joy of their day if the cat decided to sleep in their bed for a while. The food was dry and probably industrial. I couldn't see any happiness in the people living there, they had all just given up. I'm not surprised! A stroke is a very cruel enemy to encounter, everything you are can be taken away in seconds and getting help right away is essential for the recovery. Granny lost her will to live there, I think she wished she had died when the stroke hit her in her home and that she wouldn't have had to suffer all those months at that home. But Mum and I fought like idiots to keep her with us, trying to reach in and grab hold of who she was before her stroke, hoping she was still in there. And on her good days, I think we were close to succeeding, I think we almost reached her and made her remember life before her illness. If you have seen Lord of the Rings-The Two Towers, you know the scene with King Thèoden in Edoras when he is overtaken by the evil spirit of Saruman. There is like a film around him, a mist of some sort and on the other side is the real person, the one they were before--it was exactly like that with Granny. But somedays that film seemed to break up and the Granny we used to know shone through. I'm not sure if this is typical for all stroke patients, but it is the experience I've got and it makes me believe that with the right kind of treatment and stimulation, more people can be saved back to a better life, maybe even a really good life.
I strongly believe that we over-medicate our old and sick today, thinking that a handful of pills will work miracles and nothing else needs to be done with them once they've taken their meds, nothing can be done. My medical expertise is close to none, but I am willing to take in what I see with my eyes and use the poor experiences I have and do something good, something that I believe in.
I don't believe in heavy doses of strong medicines, I believe in humanity, in touch, in empathy, in laughter and I do believe in the healing powers of animals.
Laugh all you want, this is what I believe in. As I've said: I don't know much about medicine and treatments, but I know that animals have a positive effect on most of us. In the States they are used much more frequently than here in Sweden, as we often fail to use them due to issues concerning allergies and such. Some retirement-homes do use dogs and cats though, with great results, as well as in the treatment of children with different disorders and social problems. More about this here in this article from The New York Times.
I also believe that industrially made food is not as good for us as the food we make ourselves, even better if we perhaps can grow some of the vegetables, maybe a few chickens to provide eggs everyday, baking bread instead of buying it (cheaper as well!) and also: let the elderly suggest what they want to eat, can they participate? LET THEM! Reducing them to heaps of meat just sitting in wheel-chairs or whatever makes me FURIOUS! And I see it ALL the time, it breaks my heart. Some may be too weak or too sick to do things, but not all of them. I understand that the work and life of the staff is not and easy one, but this must first and foremost be about the people we care for. It's not their fault that the hours are long and the pay is bad, they've already paid their dues to this country-now it's our turn to take care of them! A little change can make a big difference.
I also noticed that not all of the people living at the same home as Granny, got as frequent visits... This pains me much and though I understand that it might be hard to find the time between a full-time job, kids, husbands and wives, grocery-shopping and what-not--these are the people who brought us into this world! We owe it to them to take time, nothing should matter more in fact. Bring the kids, bring the whole family around. If the weather is good-take a walk outside so the others don't get jealous... =) I can't imagine anything worse than being really sick and maybe close to dying and then be left all alone. Horrible and cruel. No one should suffer or die alone. The security and warmth of a hand on the shoulder or arm goes a long way. Touch can make wonders, if only on the inside.
So--this is the start of my dream. My Glory Days in reverse I guess. A dream and a hope that our last days may be among the better of our lives, when you can rejoice and reminisce about the good old days, but also look forward to tomorrow.
At Glory Days people will live, not be contained until death comes and relieves them.
It started out as a small, quivering thought in the back of my head two years ago. But I thought it impossible, how could I ever achieve all that? Today I only ask myself one question: how could I ever live with myself if I didn't even try?
Emotionally drained right now, I hope to get back to you as soon as possible on this.
A Very Animated Weekeend...
We've had a small movie-marathon this past weekend and though we didn't see all the movies we rented, I'm still pleased with the results. Anders got to see some of my favorite Disney/Pixar movies, I'm a HUGE fan of Disney!
These are the movies we've seen since last Thursday:
Anders' favorite turned out to be... Bolt! Well, he is extremely cute! Since I just love Miley Cyrus' voice, I was hooked the first time I saw it. It is one of my favorite Disney-movies, but I also LOVE Ratatouille: the unbelievable underdog, the friendship, the food, the happy ending! I think that's what I love the most about Disney--you always know there'll be a happy ending. I grew up watching their movies and they've stayed with me, some might think that's childish, but I do love them and yes--I still cry. I cry when Scar has killed Moufasa and little Simba walks up to his father's still body, every time I see The Lionking. I can live with that. I hope that my children will love Disney/Pixar as much as I do and I would like to collect all of their movies and see them all. Quite the project!
These are the movies we've seen since last Thursday:
Anders' favorite turned out to be... Bolt! Well, he is extremely cute! Since I just love Miley Cyrus' voice, I was hooked the first time I saw it. It is one of my favorite Disney-movies, but I also LOVE Ratatouille: the unbelievable underdog, the friendship, the food, the happy ending! I think that's what I love the most about Disney--you always know there'll be a happy ending. I grew up watching their movies and they've stayed with me, some might think that's childish, but I do love them and yes--I still cry. I cry when Scar has killed Moufasa and little Simba walks up to his father's still body, every time I see The Lionking. I can live with that. I hope that my children will love Disney/Pixar as much as I do and I would like to collect all of their movies and see them all. Quite the project!
söndag 1 april 2012
Let's Bowl!
As I told you yesterday, we went bowling at Heron City with Dad and it turned out to be my lucky night! We played 3 rounds and I won all 3!!! The second round I got 150 points and the third I got 151 points, I'm VERY happy with that!!! I don't think I've ever scored as much... I love the feeling I get when I hit a strike, the joy of seeing all the pins go down is great! I remember when we used to bring Granny to play with us--half the times she threw her ball backwards and all the rest of us had to jump not to get hit! =) We talked a lot about how important it is for me to win and Dad said I've always been like that and he said I never was much of a gracious winner... Oups... =) I just love the feeling of a good win, in whatever, I can find joy in the mere memory of it for days after... Weird!
Today is also a day of great grief for me and Dad--our beloved team Djurgården Hockey has been demoted to playing in Allsvenskan instead of Elitserien. It serves us right, we've played like crap this past season, but it still hurts... Hopefully we'll be back in top next year!
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